


Balance

by moonweave



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Mourning, product placement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 04:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10528638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonweave/pseuds/moonweave
Summary: Brad lost his fiancé at Wave Echo Cave. He knows the new reclaimers were only doing what they had to, but his focus at work is slipping due to his grief.Taako really doesn't care.But they're coworkers from now on, so this isn't a conversation they're going to be able to avoid.





	

A single manila folder had been sitting untouched on Brad's desk for the better part of the day.

That wasn't in his habit. Whether he was double-checking payroll to make sure bonuses were properly alloted, forwarding links to insightful blogs about team personality compatibility, or simply handling an individual employee's concern, Brad gave his work his all. 

He liked doing his job, as best he could, always. That seemed to be an unpopular stance, but Brad wasn't too concerned with being a popular guy; he'd _like_ to be liked, but professionalism had to come first. Keeping everything running smoothly by making sure this lunar base was a healthy, productive place to work and that its employees were happy here... that all had to come first.

Brad, most of all, wanted to do right by the people to whom he had a responsibility. 

He didn't put off work. He didn't procrastinate. And he didn't avoid unsavory tasks.

But every time his gaze brushed across that manila folder as more than just a background detail, as he had done just now, his stomach gave out from under him and his thoughts ground to a halt. 

It was like walking and suddenly missing a step. Gravity shifted, and he spent the next few minutes staring blankly down at his hands: the nails filed into bluntness to make it easier to type; the thin, ruby-inlaid band around his wedding finger.

Even once he'd come back into himself to a degree, it was only to a degree. A small measure closer to functional, but certainly not better enough to throw himself back into his work.

Brad worried his lips together, casting his gaze around his desk. Surely, there was something else to be sorted, some new email, some employee file that needed revision? But even as he looked, desperately, he knew there wasn't; he'd spent all day grasping onto the faintest excuse to pick up the loose threads of in-progress tasks, so that by now he'd tied everything neatly back together.

Until someone produced another problem for him to deal with, Brad was stuck with nothing that needed to be done except for the single folder he couldn't even bring himself to look at.

That was that, then.

Brad stood from his desk and straightened out his tie, his equivalent of splashing cold water on one's face, to ready himself for a trip to the breakroom.

Maybe someone he encountered in there would have a problem that needed solving.

His walk down the hall was discouragingly quiet; he poked his head into nearly every room he passed, but most were quietly and diligently functional, even if with an understandable sense of solemnity. People spared him quick, pained glances and left it at that.

He found nothing _truly_ amiss in any cubicle or office. And yet, of course, all that did was compound his nervous, blackened mood.

He decided to pour himself coffee from the breakroom pot. It would smooth his nerves over and maybe, just maybe, provide the necessary energy for him to take the leap and give that report his due diligence. It needed to be looked at; the information in it needed to be added to the relevant files.

There was no one at any of the chairs in the breakroom's small seating area, but at some point between Brad's turning to open a cabinet and his retrieving his favorite mug (it was covered with bright yellow cartoon characters who had a radiant positivity that always cheered him), someone exited the restroom.

 _Someone_. He didn't recognize them at all, which meant―oh.

There was sure something to be said for the idea that you couldn't run from your problems. This encounter could only bring the thoughts he was avoiding right out to the forefront; in fact, rudely enough, he stood in motionless surprise for far too long before extending a greeting. "I... hi there," he said. "My name's Brad."

The new arrival―one of the new reclaimers―didn't so much as look up. He was focused on making quick work of a Reese's wrapper and tearing the treat free from its confines. "Hey, Brad."

"It's, it's good to meet you. I've heard... about you," he offered. He had been about to say _I've heard a lot about you_ , but while that was the common phrasing, it wasn't strictly true. He had filed the trio's intake paperwork; he knew, by inference, that this must be Taako. But there was information he knew he didn't have. Details. The exact, specific chronology of events in Wave Echo Cave, for one thing.

Taako knew just about everything that would be in the folder on Brad's desk. Swallowing down his nerves, Brad took one step closer, then another, finally touching the chair opposite Taako's as if to pull it out, then stopping at that point. "May I?"

"What?" Taako snapped, then bit a huge chomp into the Reese's. He eliminated most of the middle, leaving a thin crescent of the outer ridge.

That was... interesting. Er. Brad was staring, which was impolite, and being impolite right now would be deeply counterproductive in more ways than one. "May I sit?"

"Uh. Sure? Yeah. Go fuckin' wild, my man, be my guest," he said, waving one hand as if dismissing the need for Brad to actually formally _ask_. As a side effect, he also waved around the peanut butter cup. Brad set down his coffee, but when he turned to retrieve cream and sugar, he also fetched two more pieces of candy.

He smiled tentatively as he set them down. "Here you are," Brad offered. "I'm glad to see people enjoying these. It's my job to keep them stocked and pick the offerings, so..."

"Oh! Well, shit! Deffo keep the Reese's coming so long as Taako's on the roster, my man, these things are like goddamned ambrosia."

"Haha, I'll... keep that in mind! Thank you for the concrete feedback. I'll―mm." The sharp scent of coffee wafting up from under him both eased his nerves and brought his thoughts back down to reality. It was a grounding, earthy aroma. "I'd like to talk to you about..."

"Yeah that's what everyone wants to talk about." Taako popped the last sliver of candy into his mouth and immediately snatched up another to pry it free of its plastic. "Which, I mean, I get. It's cool. We did some _awesome_ shit. Happy to dish details for you―"

"Brian was my fiancé."

"Oh. Oooooh... ouch, okay. Okay. I, awkward, I will admit. This has become a little awkward."

Brad frowned down at his coffee, adding his mix-ins. Lightening it. Two cups of cream, two sugars, as was his daily habit. "I'm, I'm not coming here as an accusation. Nothing like that. Um, not at all."

"Well jesus shit I would hope not. Mmmmnn... alright, buddy. Look." Taako distractedly dug one fingernail under another as if flicking out dirt. Actually, probably, chocolate. "I'm sorry you lost your guy. It sucks! I get it, cross my heart and pinky swear and all that shit I _get_ it, it _sucks_."

"Um." This didn't seem to be going anywhere good any time soon. Still, Brad waited and Brad listened.

"But I'm not real sorry I killed him? I, I just, I am not; that is not a feeling I'm feeling, friend-o."

"I... okay."

He was offered a vague, noncommital shrug and raise of the eyebrow. In his mind, Brad silently counted backward. Ten, nine, eight...

And breathe.

"Not sure how much they've filled you in about how our little cave adventure went down," Taako added. "Not sure what the NDA setup is in this joint. We've gone this whole conversation without any _kzzzzjk sshhhhhkk_ , though, so that's a fuckin' start, right?"

He knew some. He knew what had been immediately necessary: the assignment was, technically speaking, a success. The Phoenix-Fire Gauntlet had been reclaimed. But there was another party to thank for that―Brian hadn't been there to see it done. Something had gone very _wrong_. Brian wasn't going to be coming home from this one.

Brad wasn't going to see Brian ever again.

It would be easy to be short with Taako, who had more holes in his knowledge of the Bureau than he had knowledge of the Bureau to begin with. Brad resisted the impulse; he'd take the roundabout explanation, so they could fill those gaps in together. And, well, so he didn't lose his patience. Or his composure. 

"Yes, I'm inoculated. You can share any information you like," he said, but the statement came out tasting sour on his tongue. Arms crossed, fingers digging into his forearms for leverage, Brad tried to correct course. "Please."

Though Taako didn't necessarily look convinced of Brad's sincerity, he answered easily enough. Brad was grateful for that. "So, um, freaky pet giant spider? Was that a thing the whole time?"

"Oh. Um. Yes, very much so. Certainly not only one, though; he has a sort of... farm here, a series of enclosures―"

"TMI!" Taako cut him off, hands up, palms out. "Too much arachnid information for Taako. Don't need to know. Do not need to know. So, okay. Spider: check. Acted like a mad scientist in a spy movie written by a ten year old?"

Brad winced. "That's very unfair. That's―Taako, that's _incredibly_ unkind."

"Hey! Hey. You asked, and I'm answering. I am trying to tell you how it went down, my man, how this... you asked," he trailed off. All at once, Brad felt sharply aware that Taako could go at any time; he certainly didn't officially report to Brad in any capacity, and Brad certainly couldn't compel any information out of him.

If he wanted to know what had happened, and he did, that meant accepting that it might hurt. But Brad preferred the sting of knowing to the idea of constant, never-ending doubt; he didn't think he could stomach it if he lost this chance to hear from a direct witness.

"I mean, _hey_ ," Taako continued. His tone seemed to have softened by a hair. "Benefit of the doubt, I'm getting the faint impression he was a better dude before the whole _manipulated-by-an-evil-relic_ sitch? Like he maybe wasn't a, a ridiculous parody villain, before we met him?"

Brad froze, his eyes opening wider and mouth parting in shock. There was that feeling again, like misjudging the distance between your foot and the ground. There was his heart in freefall. "What?"

"Sorry, _what_ what?"

His mouth had gone stale, dry. How did he explain? How did he shore up everything he knew about _the love of his life_ against this stranger's sudden accusation? It was just that, though, as well: Taako was a stranger. He had nothing to gain by lying about, about... the dead. Especially not like this. "I... no, I... well, you're right. You are right. He was better than that."

 _Much better_ , Brad thought to himself. He didn't voice it. Couldn't. To think that someone's only impression of Brian was as some sort of single-minded, power-obsessed _enemy_...

Brad still felt like he'd been struck between the eyes. "He, he's a seeker here at the Bureau."

Taako opened his mouth, then closed it without another word, but Brad could fill in the blank.

"Was," he appended.

It took a while for him to be able to say anything after that. Taako waited. He didn't look patient about it, to be honest, but he did wait, which meant a lot―which was something Brad would keep in mind in the future. 

They worked together, after all, now, himself and this new elf wizard. A dark, bitter part of his mind pointed that out― _elf wizard_ ―as a hollow irony. An echo. But it wasn't a fair thought to have, either about Taako _or_ about Brian. No. An entirely new person to get to know and to cooperate with, to work together, as a team. A new coworker, who pretended to be less kind than he was.

When he rediscovered his emotional balance, Brad continued. "Brian was a seeker. That means his job was to locate the grand relics. We knew the gauntlet was somewhere in the area of Phandolin; recent information had placed its last known location as a vault in Wave Echo Cave."

"Cool, cool. You're checking out so far." 

"It, um, Brian's research had pinpointed the cave as the last known location, actually, so it sort of naturally fell to him to go... seek... it. He enthusiastically accepted."

Taako nodded along. 

"Brian did most things enthusiastically."

"I noticed _that_ , yeah, that was still there. Jesus was that still there. Taking hostages and trying to bloodlet a dwarf to break into a vault and steal a fancy glove, but what vim! what pep! What―"

"No?"

"Uh. Dude. I assure you: _yes_. He was such a delightful scamp when he tried to murder us all, so like, no big, no hard feelings. Just like a kitten!"

"That's... that's not what I mean." Ten, nine, eight, breathe. Brad shut his eyes hard and clasped his hands in front of himself; he just needed a moment to find his center. 

Breathe.

"Are―if you're gonna cry I can _go_ ―"

"Be! _Quiet!_ " Brad gasped, sharper in tone and ruder than he'd meant by far, but he was stretched so thin. He was stretched so thin, and he was trying to put himself back together with scraps of information that only pulled him further apart. He couldn't handle being teased for it as well. "Please just be quiet for, for a minute, Taako, please. That's all I ask."

Taako popped the second Reese's into his mouth whole and faced Brad in resounding silence. That silence sat heavily between them, a pregnant, uncomfortable moment charged with the kind of combative energy Brad spent his life's work trying to alleviate.

Murder?

Brian had tried to kill for the gauntlet?

Why? _Why?_

He tried to steel himself and approach these ideas head-on, but his mind protested at the very concept; he felt a growing headache. He felt understanding recede from him, further and further away, like a receding tide.

But tides had regular, predictable patterns, controlled by lunar influence. Tides always came back in.

"The gauntlet," he sighed. Even letting out that short breath of a phrase felt like exhaling shattered glass.

"Yeah, wow, you're quick on the uptake. I thought I mentioned that? Magical thrall? Sorry, I'm assuming I'm allowed to talk again now, 'cause if I'm not then I'm super, I'm just super done here."

Brad just shook his head―not to silence Taako again, because he had a point, but only because every nerve and bone in his body had gone cold. If remembering Brian's death was like stumbling as he walked, realizing that he'd died because he simply hadn't been strong enough to resist the charms of the very object he had worked so long to find was... it... 

No, there wasn't any appropriate comparison for that. It wasn't something that Brad could reduce to a simple principle. It didn't fit into any easy, comprehensible framework. It was real, raw, unavoidable.

Unavoidable.

"Thank you, Taako."

"Um?"

"I... thank you for telling me all of this. Thank you for not letting me hide from it," he added, standing. His chair scraped against the floor. His coffee had long grown lukewarm; it hadn't really served its intended purpose, but that was fine. Something else very much had brought Brad where he needed to be, even if it'd needed some effort and harsh honesty.

"Yeah I... okay. Yeah. Sure, buddy? Shit." Taako leaned back, but not before sliding the third and final Reese's cup across the table at Brad. It thunked dully against the side of his mug. "Here. I think you need this more than I do."

"There's an unopened bag in the middle drawer."

"Oh, thank god." 

Though he was still fractured inside, Brad picked the wrapped piece of candy up and felt a part of that broken void begin to mend. 

He'd have to find his footing again. But this was surely a good first step. "I-I'll be heading back to my office, now. There's a report I have that really needs looking at. Um, but I'm just down the hall if you ever need anything. My name's on a placard on my door."

"Yeah uh-huh. Got it. Bye, dude, go do your fuckin' job."

"I... yes, I will."


End file.
